And I thought my $50 phone bill was high

Here's a funny story I found on MSNBC.com:

KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia - A Malaysian man said he nearly fainted when he received a U.S. $218 trillion phone bill and was ordered to pay up within 10 days or face prosecution, a newspaper reported Monday.
Yahaya Wahab said he disconnected his late father's phone line in January after he died and settled the 84-ringgit (U.S. $23) bill, the New Straits Times reported.
But Telekom Malaysia later sent him a 806,400,000,000,000.01-ringgit (U.S. $218 trillion) bill for recent telephone calls along with orders to settle within 10 days or face legal proceedings, the newspaper reported.
It wasn't clear whether the bill was a mistake, or if Yahaya's father's phone line was used illegally after his death.
"If the company wants to seek legal action as mentioned in the letter, I'm ready to face it," the paper quoted Yahaya as saying. "In fact, I can't wait to face it," he said.
Yahaya, from northern Kedah state, received a notice from the company's debt-collection agency in early April, the paper said. Yahaya said he nearly fainted when he saw the new bill.
Government-linked Telekom Malaysia Bhd. is the country's largest telecommunications company.
A company official, who declined to be identified as she was not authorized to speak to the media, said Telekom Malaysia was aware of Yahaya's case and would address it. She did not provide further details.

In other news, Miss Cleo has retired from her job as a phone psychic.

A day at the park

These pictures are from last Friday. The weather was so nice that we decided to take Jay to the park and have a fun time. He loves being outside, and loves running around and chasing after birds, other kids, squirrels, and anything else he can see. He is such a rascal, but we love having him around and he is just getting more and more fun as he is growing into a little boy.

Lost

For those who love Lost, here is a link with a pretty clear shot of the writing on the blast door in the hatch from last week's episode. It might show up small, but in the bottom right hand corner there is a button that you can click to expand it so you can see the details and read the writing.

Viva Las Vegas!!!

Well, I'm just sitting here listening to the Foo Fighters and I thought I'd give everyone an update on my upcoming move to Fabulous Las Vegas. My last final is on May 5th, so I'll pack the moving truck on the 6th, drop off Lindsay and Jay for their flight and pick up dad at the airport on the 7th, and drive away on the 8th. If the move is anything like it was when we drove out here, it should take about 2 1/2 days, so we should arrive in Las Vegas on the 11th. I contacted the firm I'll be working for and told them I plan on starting on the 15th and they said that would be cool. As far as my plan to finish my 3rd year at the UNLV Boyd School of Law, I had to petition my school for permission to leave, and they graciously granted my request, as long as the classes I take don't overlap with classes I have already taken. I called UNLV and spoke to a nice lady in admissions, and she told me to send in my application anytime. As long as they have available space it should be no problem. Either way, they get my $50 application fee. I am also in the process of applying for my apartment in Las Vegas, and should have that sent out today. Luckily they have 2 bedroom apartments available. So things are progressing nicely, and we are getting excited for the move. It's kind of funny, because this is what I have been working toward for the past 2 years, so the fact that it is only a month away is kind of crazy to think about. In other news, I'm happy to report that the Mets won their opening day game 3-2 over the Washington Nationals. It looks like they finally have a solid bullpen, and an awesome closer, so here's to hoping they can finally knock the Braves off the top of the division so I can finally have bragging rights over Troy and his good buddy Larry (aka Chipper) Jones.

Jay in 30 years?

In response to Jefff's comment about Jay and Elton John, I decided to post a couple of pictures of Elton to compare with Jay's pictures. Funny, last week he looked like Super Dell, and this week he looks like Elton John. The boy is changing so fast I can't believe it! Anyway have a good laugh.

Sunglasses

Well, it looks like this blog has turned into pictures of Jay and lawyer jokes with a recipe mixed in occasionally. I'd write about more, but my life is so routine right now that I just don't have much to write about. So until something exciting happens in my life this is what you can expect from my blog. That being said, here are a few funny pictures of Jay and his new sunglasses.

Joke of the day

An affluent lawyer is riding in his Lexus when he looks out the window and sees a man in disheveled clothing on all fours on the ground. The lawyer slows down to get a better look at the poor guy, who appears to be eating grass. He stops his Lexus and rolls down the window. "Excuse me, buddy," shouts the lawyer out his window. "What's going on?" The poor guy looks up, and through a mouthful, he says, "Nothing much, sir. I'm just eating grass." "Why?" inquires the lawyer. "Well, you see, sir, I'm too poor to afford any food. All I have to eat is this grass," says the man. "My Goodness!" exclaims the attorney. "That's horrible. You must come with my back to my house." "But I have a wife and three kids," explains the unfortunate man. "That's no problem," says the attorney. "Bring them all along. I am sensitive to even the slightest human suffering." The poor man jumps up and runs to fetch his wife and kids. The lawyer waits as the poor man ushers his family into the lawyer's Lexus. With the whole family in his car, the lawyer peels out. "We appreciate your kindness, sir," offers the poor man's wife. "You guys are going to love it at my place," the lawyer says. "The grass is a foot tall!"

Warshington DC

We had a fun time in DC. Well, except for losing my voice and having an attack of the Montezumas in the National Archives, but other than that it was fun. Here are a few pictures to prove we were really there.







And here are a couple of new photos of the star of my blog -- Jay.

More Jay!

Back by popular demand

Totally Awesome!!!

Well, it looks like Totally Awesome Computers!!! is closing its doors. Below are a couple of "Totally Awesome!!!" quotes from "Super Dell" himself regarding the closing of his business:

"It's too bad that all of the media in Utah are liars and murderers," he said. "You just destroyed the greatest computer company of all time. We were the best in the world, the world champion. All this hatred was created by you. You're basically angels of Satan. All I can say to the people in Utah is, please pray for all the news people."

"Totally Awesome Computers is going out of business. Yes, thanks to all of you. Which is too bad."

This next quote is my favorite (although it's hard to top the "angles of Satan" quote above). I found it in an interview "Super Dell" gave in 2000.

TH: Final question: What do you want to be when you grow up?

SUPERDELL paraphrased: I want to be a Supreme Ruler! In a few years, I want to have the biggest company in the world, where Bill Gates works for me, and Dell, Micron and Gateway sell out to me for $1.

Another funny exchange I found on www.ericsnyder.com:

"A few months ago, I said the guy on the Totally Awesome Computer commercials was so annoying, I would sooner smash him in the head with a computer than buy one from him. This resulted in an exchange of e-mails with the guy himself -- Superdell, he's called -- which included him sending me approximately 1,000,000 pages of positive feedback he'd received from satisfied customers who apparently bought a computer from him AND hit him in the head with it (I don't see how else they could have been 100-percent satisfied). I told him if he did lots of business, fine, but as for me, his commercials annoy me to the point of wanting nothing to do with Totally Awesome Computers. That's when the friendly stopped. He wrote (and this is just how I received it):

'I can't believe someone educated to your level would have such a weak mind! Why would you not want to save $100, get a better computer and better service simply because your emotions are stronger than your common sense. I don't care if you are a total [vulgar expression], I would buy from you if you had the better deal. ... Suggesting that people should get all emotional, and boycott a product is unwise. You should be charged with malpractice ['cause I'm a doctor, you know] or fired for having such a ridiculous opinion! [If columnists got fired every time they had a ridiculous opinion, would Ann Landers still be writing? Trick question; Ann hasn't expressed an opinion, ridiculous or otherwise, in well over 30 years.] Are you having that female time of the month by chance? Sounds very childish! [And that female time of the month crack was the picture of maturity. What is the female time of the month, anyway? I didn't realize the month was divided into genders like Spanish nouns.] What next? Not buying from people because they are black? Or not of your religion? Just because people are different doesn't make them bad. [No, it's being annoying that makes them bad.] Use your brain mister IQ! I still love you but you should grow up so you don't have to avoid every business of whom you didn't like their ads for the rest of your life. '"

I guess "Super Dell" was right. It must have been the media's fault.

TOTALLY AWESOME!!!

Top 5

This post is dedicated to some of my favorite albums. They are not necessarily the top 5 albums ever, but they are albums you can listen to front to back and every song (or almost every song) is great. Feel free to agree or disagree, or to post your own in the comments section.

1. Radiohead - OK Computer. This might be my favorite album of all time. Simply amazing.
2. Radiohead - The Bends. This might be my 2nd favorite of all time. There was a 5 year period where Radiohead could do no wrong.
3. Sheryl Crow - Tuesday Night Music Club. This might seem like an unlikely choice, but have you listened to it? This was an amazing debut, and one that Crow hasn't been able to replicate.
4. Foo Fighters - There is Nothing Left to Lose. Probably my favorite Foo Fighters album, and probably my favorite album to run to (back when I did that kind of thing).
5.Teenage Fanclub - Bandwagonesque. This album is full of great songs, and Teenage Fanclub has a unique sound that takes me back to 1995.
Honorable Mention: U2 - Achtung Baby, Grant Lee Buffalo - Mighty Joe Moon, Lucinda WIlliams - Essence, Lenny Kravetz - 5, and Peter Breinholt - Songs About the Great Divide. I'm sure I have left off many deserving albums, but you can't miss with any of these.

Help

In a little over a week, Lindsay and I are going to spend a couple of days in Washington D.C. for spring break. Because neither of us have been to D.C., I'm asking for some suggestions of things to see from those of you who have been there. We figured we would spend most of our time in the "mall" area, but feel free to comment if you think there are things we should absolutely see while we are there.

Happy Birthday!

As many of you know, yesterday was Lindsay's birthday. I got out of class at 2:30 and since it was her birthday, I decided to spend the rest of the day with Lindsay and Jay to celebrate her birthday. In all, it was a pretty fun day. I got up early and cooked her a breakfast of scrambled eggs, toast, and sausage and I gave her one of her presents -- a denim jacket. I'm pretty proud of this one, because it was such a good deal. It was regularly $59.00, and I got it on sale for less than $6.00. She seemed to like it pretty good, and I think she was impressed with my "George Costanza" like ability to sniff out a good deal. This is a skill that I have developed over the past 18 months living as a poor student. I got home from school at about 3:30, and I gave Lindsay her birthday card and her other present. The other present was a lime green polo shirt with a pink collar. I thought it was kind of cute, especially with spring around the corner. For her birthday dinner she wanted to go to Taco Bell. I usually veto Taco Bell, but because it was her birthday I decided I could handle it. We took Jay with us and bought him a kids meal with a soft bean burrito. He seemed to like it pretty well, but not nearly as well as he liked the Sprite/water combination we gave him to drink. He was so cute, there was a guy sitting one table away from us, and Jay kept waving to the guy, trying to get his attention. We spent the rest of the night eating birthday cake and watching episodes of Lost. Oh yeah, I did the dishes too. Dishes and Taco Bell? No wonder Lindsay gets so excited for her birthday.

Joke of the day

Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the opposing lawyers.

“I have some shocking news,” the judge said. “I have been bribed by both the prosecution and the defense in this case…”

Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably. “I received an envelope with $10,000 from the prosecution and an envelope with $15,000 from the defense.”

The judge pulls out his checkbook and writes a check. He tears it off and hands it to the defense attorney.

“In the name of justice, I’m returning $5,000, and we’re going to decide this case solely on its merits.”

Jay

These are a few pictures we have taken of Jay lately. What a funny dude!

15 minutes

Some people get their 15 minutes in the most unsual ways. This guy has been arrested nearly 1000 times since 1992. Here's the story if you want to read it.

Manly Foods -- Part 2

This is part two in my multi part series on "manly" foods. To set the record straight, I'm not advocating wearing aprons or giving up wrestling to join the Home Ec. club like A.C. Slater did on Saved by the Bell, but I believe there are certain foods that every man should be able to cook. Thus, the title, "manly" foods. Most of the recipes I will share have come from GQ magazine. In the past they had a great monthly feature titled "Guy Food" which I read regularly. It was often a favorite recipe of a celebrity or regular contributor to GQ, and there was usually a story behind the food. GQ no longer has its "Guy Food" feature, but about every other month there is an "Eat" feature that is similar, but without the background stories. With that in mind, today's manly food is the "manly" peanut butter and banana sandwich. This is easy to make, and is a great late night snack or can be eaten for breakfast, lunck, or dinner. It also tastes great, so it works well if you want to impress a date, or significant other with your "manly" cooking abilities.
Instructions:
1.Spread peanut butter on two slices of high quality bread. Slice one banana and place it on top of one of the slices, but keep it open-faced for now.
2. Melt about a tablespoon of butter in a frying pan on medium low heat, so the butter doesn't burn.
3. Crack one egg into a bowl, add a splash of milk, a splash of vanilla and some nutmeg or cinnamon, whichever you prefer. Wisk it until you have a batter like you would for french toast, and place your open-faced sandwich in the batter and let it soak for a few seconds.
4. Turn the heat up to meduim.
5. Place your open faced sandwich on the frying pan.
6. Place the top piece of bread in the batter and place it on top of the sandwich.
7. After a couple of minutes, flip the sandwich and cook the other side.
8. Remove from frying pan and top with honey, syrup, whip cream, or any other topping you like.
9. Eat, and feel "manly."

It is said that this was the favorite meal of Elvis Presley. That alone makes this a "manly" food.

Joke of the day

An old man was on his death bed. He wanted badly to take some of his money with him. He called his priest, his doctor and his lawyer to his bedside. "Here's $30,000 cash to be held by each of you. I trust you to put this in my coffin when I die so I can take all my money with me." At the funeral, each man put an envelope in the coffin. Riding away in a limousine, the priest suddenly broke into tears and confessed, "I had only put $20,000 into the envelope because I needed $10,000 for a new baptistery." "Well, since we're confiding in each other," said the doctor, "I only put $10,000 in the envelope because we needed a new machine at the hospital which costs $20,000." The lawyer was aghast. "I'm ashamed of both of you," he exclaimed. "I want it known that when I put my envelope in that coffin, it held my personal check for the full $30,000."

Manly Foods Part 1

This post is the first in a multi part series dedicated to manly foods. Manly foods are foods that not only taste manly, but are also foods that every real man should know how to prepare. I'm going to start out with an easy one -- the soft boiled egg. The soft boiled egg starts out just like his more popular hard boiled brother. You boil water, gently drop an egg in the water, and wait. The difference is in how long you wait. For a soft boiled egg, set your timer for 4 minutes and remove from the water. You can run it under cold water to cool it a little, and gently crack the shell and peel. I recommend cutting the egg in a bowl or on a small plate, seasoning with salt and fresh cracked pepper, accompanied with buttered toast. If you are manly enough to own egg holders, you can place the egg in the holder and saw off the top with a butter knife (see picture). The taste is amazing, and is Cary Grant or James Bond manly. Try it once, you'll never go back.

Gollum

This was the picture of the girl we babysat when I left for school in the morning.
This is what she looked like when I came home from school later that day. It was then that I realized I had made the mistake of leaving my wedding ring on the table within her reach. I couldn't quite make out what she was saying, but it sounded a little like "my precioussss."