Good news ...

Well, I just received (and accepted) a job offer from the law firm Alverson Taylor Mortensen & Sanders here in Las Vegas. They are a 41 attorney firm that has been around for about 25 years. I'll be in their litigation department, and will start right after I take the Nevada bar exam in late July. I really liked the hiring partner I interviewed with, and they took me on a tour of their office, which was nice as well. Anyway, what a relief!

Funny story

This is a funny story I got in my email the other day...


A Charlotte, North Carolina lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against fire, among other things. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed claim against the insurance company.In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost in a series of small fires. The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.The lawyer sued ... and WON! (Stay with me here.)In delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer "held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable fire" and was obligated to pay the claim.Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the rare cigars lost in the "fires."NOW FOR THE BEST PART...After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.This is a true story and was the First Place winner in the recent Criminal Lawyers Award Contest.

Try try again

Well, I tried 3 times to upload some pictures of Jay's birthday, etc. but I couldn't get it to work. I'm sick of trying, so I'm giving up for now and I'll try again later today or tomorrow.

This is pretty funny ...

Funny Prank

Ryan called me yesterday with a funny prank idea. The plan was for him to set up a phony email account and send Britton an email with his LSAT "results." The funny part is that according to the email, Britton only scored a 151 (which is pretty bad in case you were wondering). So I dug through my hotmail inbox and found my LSAT results email and forwarded it to Ryan. He changed the name, date, and score but kept the rest the same to make it look legitimate. Here is the result:

Dear BRITTON BUTTERFIELD,

Your September 30, 2006 LSAT score is 151. The percentile rank is 46.A copy of your LSAT Score Report will be available in the LSAT section of the MY DOCS folder in your Online Services account at www.lsac.org. Other test related documents (in accordance with LSAC disclosure policies) may also be available in the folder.Note: The note below applies only to those who took a make up administration due to inclement weather on September 30.If you took a make up test administration due to inclement weather, although your September score report shows the test date as September 30, 2006, please be assured that the score reflected is the score earned at your make up administration date. Since, make up tests are non disclosed, your score report shows only your LSAT score and percentile. You will not receive your answers, the credited answers, a copy of your answer sheet, or the score conversion table from the make up administration.Law School Admission Council

THIS IS A CRUEL JOKE BROUGHT TO YOU BY RYAN & CHAD

Playoff baseball

Playoff baseball just might be my favorite sporting event of the year. Especially when the Mets (2-0) are playing. In other news, I now have 4165 songs on my ipod and counting.

Jay's new trick

Well, Jay can now climb out of his crib. Yesterday when Lindsay put him down for a nap he started crying, and she said she could hear him grunting for a minute, and all of a sudden he came running into our bedroom. She put him back in the crib, but he was out by the time she had left his room! Needless to say, he didn't take a nap yesterday. It was kind of nice this morning though, usually he cries until I get him out of bed, but this morning he just came running into our room. I'll try to get a picture of him climbing out. It's really funny.

Some cool Jay pictures

1. Song that always makes you sad? Anything country (because it is so painful to listen to).

2. Last thing you bought? Sierra Mist and a Snickers

3. Last person you argued with? Jay

4. Do you put Butter before putting the peanut butter on? No

5. One of your stuffed animals' names as a kid? Don't remember. I remember all of my pets' names though.

6. Did you ever own at one time a Barenaked Ladies Cd? I own Stunt.

7. Favorite day of the week? Saturday

8. Favorite Sundae topping? Chocolate

9. Did you take Piano lessons? Yes

10. Most frequent song played? Moonlight Sonata

11. T.V. show you secretly enjoy? WWE

12. Would you rather play basketball or hockey? Basketball

13. Date someone older or younger? I date Lindsay and she is 4 1/2 years younger

14. One place you could travel to right now? I would like to return to Sri Lanka some day.

15. Do you use umbrellas? I did in Singapore and in New Jersey, but it doesn't rain in Las Vegas

16. Do you know all the words to the Canadian national anthem? Canadia is a nation?

17. Favorite Cheese? I like Brie

18. The Smith's or the Cure? Depends on when you ask me. I like them both pretty well.

19. Do you prefer Blondes or Brunettes? I like fake blondes (Lindsay)

20. Best job you ever had? I liked my job this summer.

21. did you go to your high school prom? Yes

22. perfect time to wake up? Whenever Jay wakes me up

23. perfect time to go to bed? Depends. What's on TV?

24. do you use your queen right away in chess? No

25. Ever been in a car accident? Yes

26. closer to mom or dad...or neither? Both sounds better than neither.

27. what age is this exciting life over for you? I prefer not to think about that.

18. what decade during the 20th century would you have chosen to be a teenager? 60's.

29. Favorite shoes you have EVER owned? Nike Air Force III (signed by Blue Edwards)

30. Do you have an article of clothing you have had since you were in high school? I have a Grateful Dead shirt I bought in Jackson Hole that I will never give up. I also have some Polo shirts that I still wear occasionally.

31. Were you in track and field and if so what events? I ran the 600 yard dash in 5th grade and was pretty good at it. But everyone had to run it so it wasn't really by choice.

32. Were you ever in a school talent show? No, but I was in a few roadshows as a kid.

33. Have you ever written in a library book? Peepees and weewees.

34. Allergic to? Seasonal allergies, watermelon, raw carrots, some fruits.

35. Favorite fruit? Mangosteen

36. Have you watched sex and the city? Nope

37. Baseball hat or toque? Baseball hat

38. Do you use shampoo first in the shower or soap? Always soap first.

39. Wet the toothbrush or brush dry with the toothpaste? Wet

40. Pen or pencil? Pen

41. Have you ever gambled at a casino? Of course

42. Have you thrown up on a plane? No

43. Have you thrown up in a car? No

44. Have you thrown up at work? No

45. Do you scream on roller coasters? I'm sure I have before

46. Who was your first prom date? I prefer not to list other people's names on the internet.

47. Who was your first roommate? Chris Romero

48. What alcoholic beverage did you drink when you got drunk for the first time? N/A

49. What was your first job? Paper route

50. What was your first car? Probe. First car I bought was a Ranger

51. When did you go to your first funeral? Don't remember. I remember going to some funerals when mom would play piano for grandpa

52. How old were you when you first moved away from your hometown? 12

53. Who was your first grade teacher? Miss Warwood

54. Where did you go on your first airplane ride? Oklahoma

55. When you snuck out of your house for the first time, who was it with? Don't remember

56. Who was your first Best Friend and are you still friends with them? Jason Rindlisbacher. I haven't seen him since his farewell, but I can still spell his name.

57. Where did you live the first time you moved out of your parent's house? Logan

58. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day? I don't have many bad days, but I would probably call lindsay.

59. Who's wedding were you in the first time you were a bridesmaid or a groomsmen? Ryan's wedding (best man)

60. What is the first thing you do in the morning? Get Jay out of bed, or try to con lindsay into getting him

61. What was the first concert you attended? I think the Beach boys

62. First tattoo or piercing? Ear (for like 2 days)

63. First celebrity crush? Elizabeth Shue on Karate Kid

More Super Dell Madness

From today's Deseret Morning News:


Schanze gets a fine, probation
'Super Dell' ordered to stay on good behavior for a year
By Linda ThomsonDeseret Morning News

WEST JORDAN — A judge has sentenced Dell Buck Schanze, the former computer mogul of "Super Dell" TV commercial fame, to pay a fine and stay on good behavior on probation for 12 months for misdemeanor counts of speeding and making a false written statement to police.

Third District Judge Royal Hansen on Wednesday suspended a 180-day jail sentence, imposed a $285 fine, charged $207 for the speeding citation and ordered Schanze to take a "cognitive restructuring course," which assists people in learning how to detect errors in their thinking. Defense attorney Michael Bassett said Schanze already had taken that course at Sandy Counseling after being directed to by Sandy Municipal Court in connection with a separate misdemeanor paraglider incident. Hansen said if he receives paperwork indicating the course has been completed, he'll consider that as possibly satisfying the requirements of his sentence. A smiling, denim-clad Schanze spoke at length in rapid-fire fashion telling the judge a class regarding "thinking errors" was unnecessary and could give a bad impression via the media. "Why in the world would you want to change the thinking of a self-made millionaire who's lectured at almost every college in the state?" he asked. "Yes, I'm exuberant and outgoing and a positive thinker. I'm extremely mentally stable, and I'm not one who would be a danger to society." "I appreciate your input, Mr. Schanze," the judge said, adding that Schanze has the right to appeal if he chooses. Prosecutor Chris Bown said he does not think Schanze is a bad person but said he is dangerous because he thinks the rules that apply to others do not apply to him. Bown said Schanze has shown no remorse in this case and twice has paraglided into situations in Draper that caused problems — once when police were trying to deal with a suicidal man armed with a gun and once when firefighters were fighting a blaze and Schanze tried to get the heat updraft for his aircraft.

Outside the courtroom, Schanze denounced the prosecutor as "a loser," said the judge was trying to be politically correct, and stated news reporters — who are "swayed by Satan" — were spreading lies that destroyed his computer business and poisoned the jury against him. He called on reporters to repent and said he'd work with anyone who wanted guidance. "If I was a really bad guy, would any of these news reporters be alive?" Schanze asked. "Ask yourself that question. You know you all have the ability to repent because of the grace of God, but you are still alive to do it, because of the grace of Super Dell." He said he was sorry for speeding but insisted he did not mislead the police. A jury in May acquitted Schanze, 36, of threatening or using a dangerous weapon, a class A misdemeanor, in connection with an incident in which some angry Draper residents followed him from their neighborhood, where they said he had been speeding, to a hang-gliding park. They berated Schanze and one picked up a rock and threatened to break the tail lights of Schanze's Jaguar. Schanze, who had his 8-year-old daughter with him, said he took out a gun for which he has a concealed weapons permit and held it behind his leg for protection, then put it away. However, the jury was not convinced Schanze told the truth in a report to police and convicted him of the class B misdemeanor written false statement charge. Schanze pleaded guilty to speeding charge before the trial started.

Joke of the day

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Joke and word of the day

The word of the day is "beenpee."

A lawyer was on his deathbed in his bedroom, and he called to his wife.She rushed in and said, "What is it, honey?"He told her to run and get the bible as soon as possible. Being a religious woman, she thought this was a good idea. She ran and got it, prepared to read him his favorite verse or something of the sort.He snatched it from her and began quickly scanning pages, his eyes darting right and left.The wife was curious, so she asked, "What are you doing, honey?""I'm looking for loopholes!" he shouted.

Joke of the day

Apologies to anyone offended by the language in this joke, but I think the original language makes it funnier.

Four surgeons are having a coffee after performing surgery. "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. Everything inside is numbered." says the first. "I think librarians are the easiest," said the second surgeon. "When you open them up all their organs are alphabetically ordered." The third surgeon said, "I prefer to operate on electricians. All their organs are colour coded." The fourth one said, ""I like to operate on lawyers. They're heartless, spineless, gutless, and their head and ass are interchangeable."

You want me to do what???

I had a good laugh when I received this research assignment today. This is a direct quote:

"Please determine under Nevada law whether it is illegal to marry your cousin. No, really, that's what we need to confirm."

In case any of you are wondering, it is illegal to marry your cousin, but you can marry your second or half cousin without a problem.

The word of the day is...

Agee. Guess that one smartguys.

Today's word

These are a couple of my favorite recent pictures of Jay. Today's word has two meanings, and the word is: peepee

A few good quotes

I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered.But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: "No good in a bed, but fine against a wall."-- Eleanor Roosevelt

Last week , I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.-- Mark Twain

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible. -- George Burns

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. -- Victor Borge

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. -- Mark Twain

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -- Socrates

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. -- Groucho Marx

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. -- Jimmy Durante

I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.-- Zsa Gabor

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.-- Alex Levine

My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying. -- Rodney Dangerfield

Money can 't buy you happiness .. but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. -- Spike Milligan

I am opposed to millionaires... but it would be dangerous to offer me the position. -- Mark Twain

Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP.-- Joe Namath

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap. -- Bob Hope

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. -- W.C. Fields

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. -- Will Ro gers

Don't worry about avoiding temptation . as you grow older, it will avoid you. -- Winston Churchill

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty ... but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.-- Phyllis Diller

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere. -- Billy Crystal

Today's word ...

aiuhyu. Try to figure that one out. I tried to spell it as phonetically as possible.

Today's word is...

Po. Post your guesses.

In other news, we have bought a potty chair for Jay and are starting to potty train him. He does a pretty good job of peeing in the potty chair when we sit him down on it (in fact he goes almost every time) but we haven't gotten to the point where he would know to do it on his own. He still hasn't pooped in the potty chair yet, but a couple of days ago while Lindsay was letting him run around without a diaper trying to "train" him, he pooped all over the carpet. It was pretty bad. So, we cleaned it up and went to the store and bought some carpet cleaner for pet "accidents." You wouldn't even know he ever went! Plus, it was in his own room, so even if it left a stain or a smell at least it wouldn't have been in our room.

GO France!