More Super Dell Madness

From today's Deseret Morning News:


Schanze gets a fine, probation
'Super Dell' ordered to stay on good behavior for a year
By Linda ThomsonDeseret Morning News

WEST JORDAN — A judge has sentenced Dell Buck Schanze, the former computer mogul of "Super Dell" TV commercial fame, to pay a fine and stay on good behavior on probation for 12 months for misdemeanor counts of speeding and making a false written statement to police.

Third District Judge Royal Hansen on Wednesday suspended a 180-day jail sentence, imposed a $285 fine, charged $207 for the speeding citation and ordered Schanze to take a "cognitive restructuring course," which assists people in learning how to detect errors in their thinking. Defense attorney Michael Bassett said Schanze already had taken that course at Sandy Counseling after being directed to by Sandy Municipal Court in connection with a separate misdemeanor paraglider incident. Hansen said if he receives paperwork indicating the course has been completed, he'll consider that as possibly satisfying the requirements of his sentence. A smiling, denim-clad Schanze spoke at length in rapid-fire fashion telling the judge a class regarding "thinking errors" was unnecessary and could give a bad impression via the media. "Why in the world would you want to change the thinking of a self-made millionaire who's lectured at almost every college in the state?" he asked. "Yes, I'm exuberant and outgoing and a positive thinker. I'm extremely mentally stable, and I'm not one who would be a danger to society." "I appreciate your input, Mr. Schanze," the judge said, adding that Schanze has the right to appeal if he chooses. Prosecutor Chris Bown said he does not think Schanze is a bad person but said he is dangerous because he thinks the rules that apply to others do not apply to him. Bown said Schanze has shown no remorse in this case and twice has paraglided into situations in Draper that caused problems — once when police were trying to deal with a suicidal man armed with a gun and once when firefighters were fighting a blaze and Schanze tried to get the heat updraft for his aircraft.

Outside the courtroom, Schanze denounced the prosecutor as "a loser," said the judge was trying to be politically correct, and stated news reporters — who are "swayed by Satan" — were spreading lies that destroyed his computer business and poisoned the jury against him. He called on reporters to repent and said he'd work with anyone who wanted guidance. "If I was a really bad guy, would any of these news reporters be alive?" Schanze asked. "Ask yourself that question. You know you all have the ability to repent because of the grace of God, but you are still alive to do it, because of the grace of Super Dell." He said he was sorry for speeding but insisted he did not mislead the police. A jury in May acquitted Schanze, 36, of threatening or using a dangerous weapon, a class A misdemeanor, in connection with an incident in which some angry Draper residents followed him from their neighborhood, where they said he had been speeding, to a hang-gliding park. They berated Schanze and one picked up a rock and threatened to break the tail lights of Schanze's Jaguar. Schanze, who had his 8-year-old daughter with him, said he took out a gun for which he has a concealed weapons permit and held it behind his leg for protection, then put it away. However, the jury was not convinced Schanze told the truth in a report to police and convicted him of the class B misdemeanor written false statement charge. Schanze pleaded guilty to speeding charge before the trial started.

Joke of the day

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Joke and word of the day

The word of the day is "beenpee."

A lawyer was on his deathbed in his bedroom, and he called to his wife.She rushed in and said, "What is it, honey?"He told her to run and get the bible as soon as possible. Being a religious woman, she thought this was a good idea. She ran and got it, prepared to read him his favorite verse or something of the sort.He snatched it from her and began quickly scanning pages, his eyes darting right and left.The wife was curious, so she asked, "What are you doing, honey?""I'm looking for loopholes!" he shouted.

Joke of the day

Apologies to anyone offended by the language in this joke, but I think the original language makes it funnier.

Four surgeons are having a coffee after performing surgery. "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. Everything inside is numbered." says the first. "I think librarians are the easiest," said the second surgeon. "When you open them up all their organs are alphabetically ordered." The third surgeon said, "I prefer to operate on electricians. All their organs are colour coded." The fourth one said, ""I like to operate on lawyers. They're heartless, spineless, gutless, and their head and ass are interchangeable."

You want me to do what???

I had a good laugh when I received this research assignment today. This is a direct quote:

"Please determine under Nevada law whether it is illegal to marry your cousin. No, really, that's what we need to confirm."

In case any of you are wondering, it is illegal to marry your cousin, but you can marry your second or half cousin without a problem.

The word of the day is...

Agee. Guess that one smartguys.

Today's word

These are a couple of my favorite recent pictures of Jay. Today's word has two meanings, and the word is: peepee

A few good quotes

I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered.But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: "No good in a bed, but fine against a wall."-- Eleanor Roosevelt

Last week , I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.-- Mark Twain

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible. -- George Burns

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. -- Victor Borge

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. -- Mark Twain

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -- Socrates

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. -- Groucho Marx

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. -- Jimmy Durante

I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.-- Zsa Gabor

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.-- Alex Levine

My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying. -- Rodney Dangerfield

Money can 't buy you happiness .. but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. -- Spike Milligan

I am opposed to millionaires... but it would be dangerous to offer me the position. -- Mark Twain

Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP.-- Joe Namath

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap. -- Bob Hope

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. -- W.C. Fields

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. -- Will Ro gers

Don't worry about avoiding temptation . as you grow older, it will avoid you. -- Winston Churchill

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty ... but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.-- Phyllis Diller

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere. -- Billy Crystal

Today's word ...

aiuhyu. Try to figure that one out. I tried to spell it as phonetically as possible.

Today's word is...

Po. Post your guesses.

In other news, we have bought a potty chair for Jay and are starting to potty train him. He does a pretty good job of peeing in the potty chair when we sit him down on it (in fact he goes almost every time) but we haven't gotten to the point where he would know to do it on his own. He still hasn't pooped in the potty chair yet, but a couple of days ago while Lindsay was letting him run around without a diaper trying to "train" him, he pooped all over the carpet. It was pretty bad. So, we cleaned it up and went to the store and bought some carpet cleaner for pet "accidents." You wouldn't even know he ever went! Plus, it was in his own room, so even if it left a stain or a smell at least it wouldn't have been in our room.

GO France!

Jay's word of the day

Jay's word of the day is... "mooomie." Your job is to post in the comments what you think he is trying to say.

Explanation

Ok, I know that all of you only check my blog to see new pictures of Jay. The problem right now is that I don't have the internet at home, and I don't use my laptop at work. About the only chance I have to post is while I am at work, so it's tough to post any pictures. As a consolation I will describe the latest picture I took of Jay. To provide some background, he fell last friday or saturday and has a little black eye. I laugh every time I look at him because it totally fits his personality. I wanted to get a picture of him with his black eye before it goes away, so I took one of him a couple of days ago when he was taking a bath. I still need to download it to my laptop, and when I do I'll use the internet at the library to post it for everyone to see.

I think I'll start posting some of Jay's "words" as well. Today's entry is "appo pice." Lindsay said he was saying that at the store yesterday and she couldn't understand what he was talking about. (In case you don't know, appo in Jay speak means apple). Anyway, she got home and he was playing in the cupboard taking out all of the food, and he pulled out the applesauce Lindsay had bought at the store that day, and he started saying "appo pice." So in case you couldn't figure it out on your own, in Jay speak, "appo pice" clearly means apple sauce.

Good News!!!

Lindsay just called and told me I got the acceptance letter from UNLV to attend the law school as a visiting student this coming year. That is a welcome relief!

Attorney Retreat

Last weekend was the attorney retreat held at the Ritz Carlton Lake Las Vegas. On Saturday morning, 16 of us played golf at "The Falls" which is one of the two courses at the resort. I am sure it was the most expensive course I have ever played. I basically played like crap the first 6 holes, but I was able to find a groove and played a little better the rest of the holes. I think I shot par on about 5 of the 18 holes, which is pretty good for me. Especially considering this is a pretty challenging course. I also won the contest for "closest to the pin" and won a $100 gift card to Golf Galaxy. I placed 3rd in the "longest drive" contest at about 300 yards, but the winner smoked us all with a 370 yard drive. The course was beautiful, and set on the east side of the valley. The back 9 rose about 500 feet in elevation, so there were some cool views of the strip and downtown. We also saw 4 bighorn rams about 100 feet from us. I think that was the first time I have ever seen them in person, and that was cool. After golf, I picked Lindsay up and we checked into the hotel. It is a 5 star, 5 diamond resort, and was beautiful. Later that evening we had a cocktail hour followed by dinner and dessert. The next morning we had a brunch and then we checked out and went home. I had a fun experience when I was checking out. Lindsay and I were walking toward the registration desk, and someone called out my first name. I looked up and it was a guy from Sri Lanka who was our branch mission leader. He had been baptized shortly before I transferred there, and he served a mission in SLC right after I returned home. After his mission he went to BYU-Hawaii and studied hotel something or other. He married a Utah girl, has a 19 month old son, and has been living in LV for about 7 months working for the Ritz. Anyway, we exchanged numbers and it will be fun to hang out.

Running Fool

I have become a running fool. I started running last saturday, and except for sunday I have run every day since. I get up at about 5:50 a.m. to try to beat the heat and I have been running about 2 3/4 miles each day. As soon as I start losing a little weight I will up that to 3 or 3 1/2 miles/day. Apparently there is a marathon here in December, and while I am under no delusions that I will be running a marathon, they also have a half marathon that I would like to shoot for as a goal. In other news, we have had Lindsay's parents in town for the past few days and it has been fun to have them here. Especially because they spoiled us by buying us a new leather couch/loveseat/chair combo for our apartment. So when people come visit we now have places for people to sit, instead of just the lawn chair and the love sac.

Super Dell...

I saw this in today's Salt Lake Tribune and couldn't resist sharing it.

DRAPER - It's a bird. It's a plane. No. Could it have been Super Dell? And was he endangering the public? A prosecutor on Thursday charged former computer and guns pitchman "Super" Dell B. Schanze with disorderly conduct and creating a public nuisance in a May 24 outing with his ultralight aircraft. The charges were filed in Draper Justice Court. The disorderly conduct charge is an infraction that carries a fine but no jail time, while the public nuisance charge is a class B misdemeanor punishable by as much as six months in jail. Schanze did not return The Tribune's phone messages on Thursday. On the morning of May 24, Draper police responded to a report of an ultralight flying not far above Interstate 15 at about 12300 South. Draper police Sgt. Gerry Allred said one police officer saw the aircraft about even with a two-story building. Police received information suggesting Schanze was the pilot. "Numerous witness statements said he was so low they feared he was going to crash," Allred said Thursday. "The highway patrol says there were people driving by looking at the glider instead of watching the road." Allred said Schanze also risked crashing his ultralight into traffic or people in nearby businesses. There was one minor traffic accident on I-15 while the ultralight was near there, Allred said, but the Utah Highway Patrol determined the aircraft played no role in the wreck. Draper detectives attempted to interview Schanze, Allred said, but his attorney said an interview would occur only if Draper's mayor, City Council and city manager attended. Draper police said no. Schanze has said he plans on fighting the charges, which he "pretty much" knows will be dismissed. Draper City basically has "put out an execution order on me," Schanze has said. ncarlisle@sltrib.com

My job

I'm on my lunch break and I have a few minutes to post, so I thought I'd post a little something on what it is I do every day at my job. I would say about 70% of what I do every day is research legal issues for the attorneys. For example, an attorney might be writing a brief or drafting a motion, and he or she may need a case to support a legal position advanced in the document. This is where I come in. They will give me the issue to research and I look for cases that support our position. Sometimes the attorney will ask for a memo discussing the position, but most of the time they will just ask me to find the cases and hi-light the applicable text. I have also had some assignments where I will have to organize documents given to us from the client, or search through documents to find something in particular. That is pretty boring, but it is a lot easier to do knowing I am getting paid to do it. I have gotten to draft a few documents like interrogatories, requests for production of documents, a motion, an order, and a couple of memos. I have also gone to court a couple of times to watch oral arguments. That's fun because I just sit in the gallery and watch. It's funny, because I have been doing a lot of this stuff at school, and now I am getting paid to do it.

Viva Las Vegas

I'm not sure if anyone even reads this blog anymore after I took a break from posting, but I'll give an update just in case. (I could hear the faint chant of Post Post Post coming from somewhere. I'm not sure where, but it might have been from Phoenix). The move to Vegas has been a good one. Dad and I drove 46 hours in about 3 days to get here, and almost got swallowed up by a tornado in Kansas. Ok, it was just raining really hard, but I was worried about tornadoes. I started work 2 1/2 weeks ago, and I really like the firm I'm with. They take me out to eat about once/week, and in 10 days I get to go with the firm on the attorney retreat at the Ritz Carlton Lake Las Vegas. I get to bring a guest, so I decided to invite Lindsay. We didn't go anywhere for our anniversary so we figured this would be fun. The heat hasn't been too bad, most of the time in the high 90's, but a few days in the mid 80's were nice. It is supposed to break 100 tomorrow. Our apartment is pretty nice, except for a mild roach problem. I have bought about $30 worth of roach poison, traps, etc., so we're getting it under control. We love having visitors, and in about a week we'll have a couch for people to sit and sleep on. Well, I better get back to work. I'll try to post more often.

Funny story

I scared the crap out of Lindsay last night. I had been at the library studying for finals and came home about 30 minutes earlier than she was expecting me. When I opened the door to walk in our apartment I heard the water running and the radio playing (she was doing the dishes). I closed the door quietly and snuck up the stairs and hid around the corner from the kitchen. I could hear her singing along to the song and she had no idea I was home. My plan was to wait until she left the kitchen at which point I would jump out and scare her to death. I waited about five minutes and decided to call our home phone (which was about 2 feet from me on the other side of the wall). I dialed and let it ring once, and when she walked to the phone to answer it I jumped out and yelled at her. She jumped about 5 feet in the air, arms flailing, and she was screaming like a little girl. She kind of collapsed on the ground and was laughing, but I scared her so bad she was shaking for about 5 minutes. I was laughing about it the rest of the night.

Doppelganger

From Wikipedia.com:

A doppelgänger (help·info) is the ghostly double of a living person. The word doppelgänger is adapted from German doppel, meaning "double", and gänger, translated as "goer" (though in this context, the meaning is closer to "walker"). The term has, in the vernacular, come to refer to any double or look-alike of a person, most commonly in reference to a so-called evil twin, or to bilocation.
Alternatively, the word is used to describe a phenomenon where you catch your own image out of the corner of your eye. In some mythologies, seeing one's own doppelgänger is an omen of death. A doppelgänger seen by friends or relatives of a person may sometimes bring bad luck, or indicate an approaching illness or health problem.

Famous reports of the Doppelgänger phenomenon

Emilie Sagée was a schoolteacher in the nineteenth century whose Doppelgänger's public appearances were recorded by Robert Dale Owen after being reported to him by Julie von Güldenstubbe.
Guy de Maupassant recorded his own Doppelgänger experiences in his story Lui.
Percy Bysshe Shelley claimed to have met his Doppelgänger foreboding his own death.
John Donne, the English metaphysical poet, apparently met his wife's Doppelgänger in Paris, foreboding the death of his yet unborn daughter.
Abraham Lincoln told his wife, while shaving after his election as president, that he saw an image of himself in the distance fade away while shaving in front of a mirror. He believed this to mean he would be elected to a second term but would not survive.

Emilie Sagée
Robert Dale Owen was responsible for writing down the singular case of Emilie Sagée. He was told this anecdote by Julie von Güldenstubbe, a Latvian aristocrat. Von Güldenstubbe reported that in the year 1845–46, at the age of 13, she witnessed, along with audiences of between 13 and 42 children, her 32-year-old French teacher Sagée bilocate, in broad daylight, inside her school (Pensionat von Neuwelcke). The actions of Sagée's Doppelgänger included:
Mimicking writing and eating, but with nothing in its hands.
Moving independently of Sagée, and remaining motionless while she moved.
Appearing to be in full health while Sagée was badly ill.
Apparently also, the Doppelgänger exerted resistance to the touch, but was non-physical (two girls passed through the Doppelgänger's body).