I had to check Jay's oil last night. (Jay is my 14 month old son). I was initiated into the Jiffy Lube Club at a young age when my mother checked my oil, and again 18 months ago when I was bending over the table in Dr. Jellyfinger's office the day after I saw red in the toilet. But back to Jay -- I have been paranoid that he is sick because he was around sick people throughout Christmas break and I have been worried that Lindsay passed him strep. He hadn't been acting sick until last night, when he was really fussy for about 2 hours straight. He is normally a very good boy and although he has learned how to throw a pretty good tantrum, he generally doesn't fuss. Doing my best impression of mom, I felt his head and determined he felt "hot" and must have had a fever. When Lindsay returned from the store, I told her we should take his temperature and concluded that the only way to get an accurate reading was to check his oil. (We had previously tried the mouth and armpit methods with no success). So I greased up the dipstick and Lindsay and I held him down until we got the reading. To my dismay it was 98.0 degrees, so either I was doing it wrong, or he didn't really have a fever. I wasn't about to retest, so we tried to see if there was something else wrong. Lindsay offered him a graham cracker snack and he gobbled it up. Was it possible that he was only being fussy because he was hungry? After all, he had eaten 3 (yes, 3) helpings of lasagna for dinner just an hour before. After a couple more graham crackers I decided to give him a fruit in gel cup (kind of like Jell-O but a little thicker) and he ate it all. Problem solved. The good news is that I learned somewhere, maybe in a college psychology class, that children aren't able to form long term memories until about age 3, so Jay still likes me in spite of his membership in the Jiffy lube club. As a final note, I will be organizing a meeting for members of the Jiffy Lube Club for anyone interested. So far only Jay and I are signed up to attend, but we will welcome anyone else who has already been initiated. (We won't be performing initiations in the meeting).
5 comments:
Bah ha! What I'm more curious about is your visit to Dr. Jellyfinger's office. What was the proctological prognosis??? te-hee-hee
Clean bill of health. The technical medical phrase he used was "violent case of the diarrheas."
hey jerk. hey we miss havin the instant entertainment of jay around here. its kinda boring w/ just me and mom and dad and kyle but anyway drop that little munchkin for me
what a funny entry!! I laughed and laughed. I definately am a member of the jiffy lube club..thats the only way we took temperatures at Primary Childrens hospital. Those 3 minutes were soooooooooo long when a baby or child was crying and fighting the whole time. Of course all you children were angels and never complained. Thanks for the laugh!
you aint seen nothing until you have an enema..THAT will most surely put you in the jiffy lube club
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